singled-out

We always feel singled out when struggles hit. That unsettling feeling of somebody else having it all while we are full of stress and unresolved problems. It can feel like we are the only ones who’s life turned out to be a big pile of poo….(like the memories of all those diapers!)

Then we start talking to friends and family members and it becomes obvious: we are not alone with our crazy thoughts, self doubts, and occasional negativity. Turns out, we are all sitting in a different boat, but the seas are the same.

The know-how of riding the tough or smooth waves is always based on individual decisions, and keeping in mind that some of us are more experienced sailors.

Why do we need to compete with the Joneses? Where is the deep seeded need coming from to be perfect?

As a single parent, we learn to accept flaws. There is just not enough time in a day to be perfect.

This is the first time in my life, where I can truly understand living in the moment and being grateful for my ability to carry my body through the day to take care of my children.

If our consumer society would not put enormous pressure on people to buy and buy and compete for who has the most and the best, we could potentially focus on educating our children through fun family activities, exciting outdoor projects, etc. If you need to work and work and work to buy and buy and buy, where can one find time to enjoy just being together. Single parents on a single income can feel the weight of that even more.

So how can we refocus and cure our needy nature?

Maybe we can:

  1. Turn off the TV. That cheap “babysitter” is a bad influence on our children. There’s no need for all those commercials and ads.
  2. Instead of TV, let’s go for a walk. Let’s visit the local library or just get the groceries together at a slow pace.
  3. Reduce our toy library to a few, well-loved and cherished, often-played-with items. No clutter to clean up makes for more relaxation time.
  4. We can start teaching our children early to help with chores. Yes, their hands will not break! This will benefit them and their future significant other and give a well-deserved break from some of the dreaded tasks we didn’t want to face after 5 pm, when we come falling through the door.
  5. We can allow ourselves quiet time to breathe all the worries and stresses out and relax our tight bodies!

We are not alone, we are not singled out, we are just single parents, the main decision maker of our own life, affecting our children’s future! A big responsibility? Yes. But I know, WE CAN DO IT. BECAUSE WE ARE DOING IT!