Since I learned the simple adage “fake it til you make it” during yoga teacher training, I figured it was perfectly fine to apply it to many life circumstances. After all, there are a lot of places where mastery isn’t a given, or there isn’t enough time to do things perfectly.
As most solo parents know, the number of tasks that can get done in a matter of minutes is astounding. But the number of tasks that can appear to be getting done is even more remarkable- like pulling food stuff out of the fridge slow enough so I can pour myself a glass of wine, or lingering a tiny bit longer in the tub when I have a chance because “I’m finally wiping down the drain”, or sending an email while listening to a favorite podcast, or taking the long way home just to enjoy a bit of scenery and decompress from the day. A minor indulgence may slow things down a bit, but the payback is immeasurable.
Single parenting usually means there are very few areas where life feels truly your own. Exercising the autonomy muscle in small ways can help go the distance. For those of us with an inner rebel who refuses to live life robotically, it’s important to find safe and easy ways to be a nonconformist. No one gets hurt and we have a chance to feel what it is to be our independent, dynamic selves. To remember that we have our own likes and dislikes, outside the world of play dates, car-pools and endless store runs. Maybe that’s why the yogis recommend it. “Making it” is something we all aspire to. “Faking it” at times along the way keeps us humble, and uniquely connected to who we are.